Lost in Txtlation

These are the cookie crumbs for my depreciating mind.

Tag: covid19

We need to re-evaluate the need for Castles. Post Covid19

April 15, 2020 / / 0 Comments

When you’ve been contemplating a pandemic or world crisis your entire life(I watched terminator 2 17 times in a row in a 3 day period as a kid) and one finally happens… 

1 of two things happens first: you don’t believe it and go into mental paralysis. You can physically survive and do it well but your mind jumbles for a bit. 

The Second wave you question every life choice you have ever made and you begin to take actions to re-invest your skillset that allows you to thrive in horrible times like these to take actions to change the world. I don’t know if that will be the role of an activist, expression through art, etc. but I do know I am hyper aware during these situations allowing me to quickly think of my feet without falter. All the things that make life feel overwhelming in normal times slow down and become skills in times like these for me.

It can be metaphorically explained as why most of my first dates fail: I can share 1000 things about my most intimate self within seconds of meeting someone, not because I am over sharing or obsessing but because I don’t find it to be that intimate and it’s just a small conversation of a very layered onion. Social standards have deemed it to be bad form that way however. And people freak. I don’t love you.  I don’t even care about you yet. I just like to skip the bullshit small talk and openly talk about who we are now, today, in relation to our past and hopeful future. But I am understanding that the only mitigating factor in truly knowing someone is time. As much to my dismay.

My entire life has felt like a pandemic with how I treat my short time on this planet. I think quick. Share heavily. Take on strong opinions. Speak up for others (often getting me in trouble) And take action quickly.

True anxiety(not oh my day was stressful), which I suffer, hasn’t even been a thought in my mind these last few weeks. The world is moving at the speed of my anxiety. And I am sitting here watching others like our president completely fuck it up and all I want to do is step up with my fight or flight response and slow the world down for majority of people so they can actually see it how it needs to be and is: calculated. My mind has slowed down like slow motion in a film. Or when you get into an accident and the world appears to slow time itself. This allows me to navigate the over abundance of everything around me.

I’ve pre predicted the rushes on stores, supplies, and quarantine times. Thanks to my mind being in a state of overdrive since a young age. Always looking at micro inflection of the people around me for clues on the next reactions, but this time looking at the movement of the world. Which is also why I feel as though I have the most trouble going back to “normal” or “productive” forms of “getting ahead” like others seem to be able to do in this new day with their Zoom classes, etc. I’m seeing a larger problem. Taking on the feelings of a larger group. Seeing the failures of a larger scale of society. I don’t care about how many views my next YouTube video gets. Or if social media is updated. We are living a rare moment in history where we got to see the world STOP. And it revealed/continues to reveal all the cracks and problems with our systems, structures, and societal disparities. What we do now is so goddamn important. I don’t want to go back to what we were before COVID-19. I want to be better.

I see so clearly now, a different view, but I can’t do it alone. Now is when I will judge humanity the hardest. Will your compassion and sympathy turn off the minute it ends, like 9/11 where we united until we didn’t have to? Now is when I look to my fellow human not as someone I will pass by on a regular day and cordially nod my head at; but as someone who I can trust with my life or someone who will put my life in danger. I have zero patience for the inability to adapt or see reality for what it is. I no longer give the benefit of the doubt to stupidity. I no longer sugar coat the foibles of the world. The shine is gone. The cracks are clear. If you don’t see them now and have an inner fire to want to change the world for the better of humanity not a party line or piece of paper with “value”, I don’t much care for you anymore.

I’ve dreamt of disasters. I’ve imagined the worst case scenarios. And even though we are not in that worst case yet, this pandemic has unveiled that we as humans are failing each other and things have to change. I for one plan to be part of that change. If this isn’t a wake up call, you’re deaf.

America is no longer “the new kid at school” giving off that fresh look and appeal. It is a shit stain on the national stage. I’m not even sure if America is American anymore. Or was it ever? Has the base of America been hiding quietly waiting to follow their “cult leader” and finally the true colors are free to be bright? Or have we just fallen and need others to remind us why we are who we are in the first place. Why democracy is our strength not the weakness it is proving to be in this pandemic. 

We can’t fight what we have done to this point. But we can sure as hell fight when we come out of it to prepare for it in the future. We can stop coddling those who are sinking the ship. We can stop “blocking” those who hurt our feelings and rather figure out how to coexist. We need to stop hiding behind the constitution as a way to be worse, not better. For example: You cannot be a Nazi and an American.

We need to come out fighting everything that is endangering our lives as a species.

And that is what we need: fighters. Not sheep. Not complacency. Not “comfort” of the consumer treadmill. Not a new iPhone. But actual change to the foundation of our society based off humanity and those who wish to contribute to the betterment of it. And it will be hard, and be met with resistance, and break you over and over. But perhaps this time, we can make a difference before the problem instead of having to “live with the consequences of our actions or inaction”.

We need to learn from our mistakes. Acknowledging the hamster wheel of “fortune” causing great disparity in income and poverty. “Keeping up with the Jones” becoming toxic. The country should not have 3 people, or less than 10 entities that count for the entirety of the wealth of 150 million. Not that they didn’t work for it. But they shouldn’t have had to work for that much disparity in the first place. The importance of human relations not income. And the fact that we strive for LOVE and happiness as children, but end up like Bill Gates, chasing money and power, and who recently acknowledged money means nothing(although considering how much he has this is a very hypocritical statement, but there is truth in it). Running the human engine dry to become wealthy so we have time to love at all is counter productive to living life in the short time given on earth. We shouldn’t have to “afford” to love. We should just love.

So what will you do when this is “done”? Go back to Clawing your fellow human’s flesh and bones to get to the top of the figurative consumer ladder or figure out a way to vote for humanity and not party lines and cash?

I see very clearly. And I need others around me who see the same. And no, not the conspiracies and fears, but the truths inside and outside of them. Not oblivious to the propaganda, but aware of the media and how it is shaping views. The ability to see within the castle walls but leave the comforts of them to understand the people outside who make the castle possible in the first place. 

We need to re-evaluate the need for a castle at all.

We call those inside the walls them and then there is us. They call us them and their-selves us. There needs to just be us.

“And go the Fools among” has been tattooed on my arm for many years. And finally the Fool who has been quietly watching and joking the truth for so long wishes to stop joking and turn his knowledge and worldly views into actions to better society.

A vote for Trump is un-American; or is this the “New America”? — A bipartisan view on Human Decency.

April 14, 2020 / / 0 Comments

If you plan to vote and re-elect Trump you deserve to be deported. A bipartisan view on Human Decency.

Unless at some point our country has turned into a propaganda making, history changing, dictatorship… then watching trump releasing fucking propaganda videos during press conferences where he should be calming and guiding the country is despicable.

He is taking a play out of China’s CURRENT playbook RIGHT now and trying to rewrite history to his favor. He is taking up national time with propaganda videos that are out of context LIES. If you are that uneducated to be able to decipher this truth from the other, then perhaps it is true, the “New America” is Trump.

The way he yells and screams at press for asking a question not a part of the networks he “loves”. He then answers, if he answers, with how great he is and no care about you the voter, usually ending up in blatant lies.

Are you trying to tell me that at this point this is the better option for our country? Are you trying to tell me America is so far gone from a fair, free-speech, constitutionally run democracy, that we want someone who would prefer to puff his feathers and mimic China or North Korea than govern the people in a way that keeps them from buying all the toilet paper in a panic?

If you don’t see he is trying to rewrite history(one again, like China is currently doing as well) and the massive damage he is doing to our lives, country, and humanity… You are not an American and don’t deserve to be here.

Or maybe, I am not American anymore for thinking differently and the country has moved on without me, like a bad breakup that I need to recognize and relinquish my my citizenship. Because that is how strongly I feel about this many being in office for one more minute. This is from someone who is very calm, very paced, and gave America the benefit of the doubt of “wanting to shake things up” as you all said. Well the shake up is done, and if it shakes anymore the baby will die.

I can’t sit quietly here anymore and accept you as human being with a moral compass or sense of intelligence. Any human being who truly loves their neighbor and those around them as other human beings would vote for a fucking ROCK over this man for another 4 years. Yes the “lesser of two evils” argument. But look in-front of you. You have the worst of the crop already in power! (if you want to change the lesser of two evils scenario, change the system, not the people. And do it prior to an election, stand up as a united front and fight for what we deserve before we are forced to blindly check a mark of a voting ballet, hoping for the best. Flex your democratic powers of organized protests, via actions. Hit this country in the fucking wallet before it completely implodes from everyone trying to crawl above everyone else, clawing their way through flesh to do it.)

This pandemic hasn’t changed him or who he was, it has given him a platform to show on a daily basis how fucking horrid of a human being he is and how he is the exact opposite of what you voted for. He doesn’t have the majority of his voters best interests in mind, he only cares about his “ratings”. HE IS THE FUCKING PRESIDENT, WHAT RATINGS ARE THERE?! And WHY does he compare these hyperbole ratings to journalists asking journalist questions!?

No one cares Mr. Trump, we are all sitting in our damn houses, watching Cuomo for guidance and brotherly relate-able humanity, eating the same ramen, in our sweats over and over, scared to shop for food, and not really sure what day it is or what life will look like after all of this, because your briefings only talk about you. You don’t care about the American citizen. You care about your optics. You care about your ego. You care about how best to spin your lies to make everyone so confused, that “the boy who cried wolf” syndrome kicks in, and you can just do what you want. You are literally putting America through Stockholm Syndrome and it frightens me.

Just imagine for a moment, whether you liked the man or not, and parties aside, what an Obama speech would have sounded like in a time like this? That man could have calmed a goddamn unbroken mare kicking him in the face and our country truly needs it in this time of dire circumstances. This is what a president should be, their politics aside. It is the HUMAN aspect of a president that is needed. And right now we lack one with any form of these human emotions such as empathy or common decency. Show me an example of a time where he cared about the dead, rather than his “ratings”.

But what if “I choose to vote for Policy rather than if someone acts Presidential.”

He is damaging this country. How he acts is the most important power a president possesses. In this time of great need has highlighted, just how useless his inability to actually take action, when action is needed, for life truly is.

Polices over humanity. That is what you just said. Sigh. Human life is much more fragile than we treat it. And it hurts me to the soul. We were given life, and we squander it away for pieces of paper with numbers on them that are inconsequential compared to our minds and each breath we take.

We are the ass end of a joke on the international stage right now, except the joke is COVID19 and instead of people laughing they are gasping as the deaths stack up. This will greatly effect how we run as a country in the future and are taken seriously going forward. How our Democracy is proving to be our weakness due to poor leadership vs our call to actually helping and solving major problems is clear. The world is noticing as we speak as well, not just for the future, and they are taking action now. China right now is trying to twist the story so hard to say Covid19 started here. And to be honest they could pull it off with the way our government is run by this man right now. I usually say “Don’t worry, the president doesn’t have that much power, there are checks and balances” but with this new platform for him to have his own “reality TV show” on, he has done/can do so much more damage to this country it sickens me. Another term for this president either means two things:

  1. We are already in the movie Idiocracy and the damage is done, the people dumbed down, and the propaganda stuck.
  2. America is no longer America, and those of us stuck on the idea of what it should be, need to move on and stop having our heart broken, because the majority don’t care about humanity, they care about numero uno, disillusioned to think Trump cares one iota for their “needs”. This Pandemic showcasing that disparity front and center.

Please if you do plan to vote for him again or believe even a word he says, remove me as a friend immediately. Remove me, block me, and go fuck yourself. I’m done being nice to idiots and fools. And this has nothing to do with Republican or Democrat. This has to due with Human Logic.

Welcome to democracy, where freedom of speech means two things:
You can speak your opinion.
You can chose to not listen to that opinion.
 
However at some point people stopped listening to each other too well, and now there is a rift in this country. One that throws debate, logic, and reasoning out the window and we are forced to cancel culture the ones who are too far beyond. So in that light…

You’re canceled from my life.

I’m sorry you’re in quarantine. So am I.

April 2, 2020 / / 0 Comments

I’m sorry you’re in quarantine. So am I. It’s because we,humans, are the weak links here, buying time to not be overwhelmed by our own inabilities. So stfu and eat peanut butter for a few months. 

Seriously though.. I keep reading the “our economy”. Fuck your economy. We created the economy. Can’t we magically make it better? Because it is based off imaginary trillion dollar debt and bullshit already.

I keep hearing: let’s rip off the bandaid. Welcome to age-ism. If it was children who died immediately we would have been in quarantine months earlier. I personally love my parents so go fuck yourself.

I keep hearing: we don’t know the consequences on our daily lives. Yup. Correct. We don’t. But better to protect human life?!

The Spanish flu is mentioned a lot. You know what caused it to spread? Troop movement. Not social distancing or home quarantining.

Know what caused it to kill even more? Lack of news coverage in the first place thus ignoring a mutation that turned it from a 3 day nasty flu to a 24 hour killer. Added to that continued troop movement and lack of any systems to prevent human to human contact.

We have literally learned how to deal with this but we ignore it because we are sad we can’t get amazon delivery.

P.S. the Spanish flu didn’t last 3+ weeks on a ventilator. Of course this will overwhelm our health care systems.

Our leaders are idiots. No one gives a fuck about hair pieces or ratings we care about this being over and a sense of those in charge giving a fuck about us. Not that I care about Democrat or Republican, but imagine an Obama speech right now?! It soothes my soul. There is a reason we are all looking to Cuomo right now and not our president. And sorry but if you re vote for this guy, I gave ya the benefit of the doubt last time. This time, don’t ever speak with me again.

We really need the Star Trek mentality of “human exploration/improvement” versus “how much money we make”

This pandemic has revealed one thing: our entire culture as a human race is based off unsustainable ideals for human life. We emphasize things that do us no good in times of extreme need and trouble. We don’t prepare for our surroundings and any disasters this earth throws at us we truly are unable to handle. Shit some places are still under water from previous disasters.

And the true problem is this: this was avoidable to an extent. But we want more money, five minutes of fame, and believe eventually we will be rich enough not to have to worry about anything.(look at the disconnect between celebrities and the normal joe right now, sad about being quarantined in their 60000 square foot mansion versus the 10 sq ft Manhattan apartment. You idolize them until times like this where their wealth makes you sick and emphasizes your reality vs theirs.) This snubbing the guy below us and ignoring the glaring problems with “the system”. You cannot during a pandemic rally for these changes now. You are stuck with your own actions consequences. After maybe. But now, welcome to reaping what you sew.

But like 9/11 everyone was friendly until it was a few days after and people turned to shit again.
So while we are In a time where our world is literally changing permanently around us, it remains to be seen if we truly give a shit when we can once again trample the guy next to us to get ahead.

I’ve used this example many times: the bridge toll goes up. It is way more expensive than minimum wage. People are upset and it effects them. One day. ONE DAY of staying home and not using the tolls would hit them in the pockets sparking change. But no one wants to be the one to take the chance to stay home. Everyone believes eventually they can buy their way out of the toll prices and it won’t matter. The hamster wheel of fortune.

You want change? You want Bezos to step up? Hit it in the wallet. Because we are not based on humanity we are based on little pieces of paper worth nothing in times of need. (Ironically though… it could be used as toilet paper which there is a shortage of 🧻)

A rant to all of you people who I never knew were psycho.

April 2, 2020 / / 0 Comments

A rant to all of you people who I never knew were psycho.

Stop being fucking stupid conspirators because you don’t know how to keep yourself busy without the hamster wheel of work. Stay in your damn house by yourself with your tin foil hats you dumb “I googled it therefore I know all” fucks…

1. “This is Airborne.” Airborne is when it is transmitted via the air without needing a carrier. This is a droplet virus. Google it if you don’t understand. Airborne would be a nightmare.

2. “China Is BETTER AT THIS AND HAS NO INFECTIONS!” China literally ripped people from their homes if they were found to be in contact with someone with the virus.(along with other rumored practices such as welding doors shut on houses) Try that is America. They also didn’t and probably are still not reporting the proper data, because CHINA. (This is based off prior societal actions)

2a. “America should be able to do what they did!” Welcome to Democracy, where you can be a fucking NAZI and have zero repercussions. Our own freedoms are often are biggest enemies.

3. China is not “clear”. China stopped the current infections if all is to be believed, through extreme measures. The problem is 80% of their population is still not exposed to the virus so for a second wave to happen is highly likely and just as dangerous when they open up to normal activity again.
3a. The above is why this won’t be over in a “few weeks”. Secondary waves are inevitable.

4. “We should just get it over with….” Our health care sucks first off. But more importantly we haven’t prioritized it over our military, so we are going to run out of manpower and supplies for mass infection. Hence “flattening the curve”. This allows people to get the care they need in the time they need. Right now if you go to NYC and get sick, you are fighting for a ventilator, if we flatten the curve, there will be a better chance you get one in the future, let alone if you get sick for ANY OTHER reasons and need a hospital that isn’t overcrowded from the virus.

5. “This is some conspiracy to fuck the small people and make the rich richer!!!” What exactly do you think is happening here? This fucks companies and businesses and the rich AND the poor and the self run businesses. The richest are the ones who want to profit the most. And this just puts them in a situation to lose money. They won’t have that. Even if it means we die. They prefer green to red. Not to mention the target demographic of this virus is those people with the largest amounts of money.

6. “This is a way to kill the dollar so it will all be digital goods and we can have our “amount” adjusted based off anything.” Stop watching Black Mirror during a damn pandemic.

Play animal crossings or some shit. You need a break from your own mind. If the government wants to control us or change us or create a weaponized virus, GUESS WHAT: They probably already have the plans and are working on it. Good luck taking power and money away from people who don’t use it properly.

This virus however, is not the time to “stand up and fight” the invisible boogie man. This is the time to see how our government reacts to this kind of thing and then take action when things are safer to do so. Want to become an advocate? Do so somewhere where it counts, not a Facebook post to your parents and their friends of friends.

Yeah choice and democracy are a bitch during pandemics. On one hand you want your freedoms on the other hand when you get sick you want proper care. Sadly you can’t have both.

To be honest these posts piss me off. Why Tristan? Because if you wanted change maybe waiting til a fucking virus erupts around the world is a shit time. You reap what you allow.

I’m guilty. You’re guilty. And now we are in quarantine. So suck it up. Survive and then perhaps now that you’ve been shooken awake you can make some changes through action. But I doubt it. It’s easier to post in Facebook than to take action for most. And most are secretly wanting the choices made for them. So it’s an uphill battle both ways.

Also this isn’t about a virus persay but our ability with our infrastructure to handle it. Humans are the weak link not the virus.

So please don’t throw stupid ass statistics around. “Why are cigarettes legal, we know they kill x million people a year”. Because people are fucking dumb. And money. Mostly money.

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