I often say at the end of my writing:
So those are my thoughts. Obviously I have a million more and I wonder if I express everything properly the first time, but that is OK I think, because there is time to re-address things and to talk about it, instead of it being chiseled into stone on, THIS IS HOW IT IS. Consider this my journal entry to myself with intent of someone reading it.”The cookie crumbs for my depreciating mind. I spent a long time in Switzerland as a child and I found their way of “getting to know” one another refreshing. A lot up front. Not much of a wall if any. And a calm sense of “well if it doesn’t work, we will move on without wasting time pretending, guarding, or being afraid of failure.” So hopefully you don’t think I am throwing too much at you at once here with this, but then again I would share it if I did think so(but I guess I like disclaimers). But like I say and say again, I know nothing of you, nor am I the puppy attached to your hip, I am only an impatient boy, yelling, Mom.. mommy. momma.. Mom! Just to get the residual approval of a “Hello”. I am in no rush to love, I am however in a fast sprint to finding out how to give it, without feeling cheated. I want there to be an inquisition for knowledge. It will become clear eventually. Today, tomorrow, a year. I don’t care really as long as I don’t waste each day in a falsity of who I am today. So please forgive me for breaking the three text limit rule, please forgive me for not having my shit 100% together, forgive me for having multiple personality disorder on any given day at the moment. Eventually I will know the answer to the rubix cube in my brain, I will get the colors lined up. It will look like a Jackson Pollock. That is where I will give love. Not today, not tomorrow, but in time. Time filled with that search for a soul, mine, yours, those around, and the ones past.
To me it is less about OMG YOU MUST read all this to know me, this is me just wanting to share a few snippets of my life. Because trust me, without these I have a ton to talk about still. Would love to have conversations about anything that sparks your mind as well. So don’t think of this as some homework assignment to be handed in, think of it as an open conversation in a text format.
