“I feel like we have been dating for years and I am so comfortable with you!”
But instead of going with the flow of life, I am going to project my own insecurities I have with commitment on your ability to just be someone who adapts to situations, enjoys calm, talks to new people as if they have been friends for years, and just take it a minute at a time.
Oddly enough the minute at a time makes people very comfortable or whatever other synonym.
“I feel so comfortable around you”
“It feels like we have known each other for much longer”
“This doesn’t feel like a first date” (whatever that means)
“You are so easy to talk to”
You get the point.
But while you think in your mind, cool I am not making this person freak out, it is actually making them freak out.
What you thought was a first drink and dinner has now turned into thanksgiving dinner with the entire family meeting them for the first time.
What you thought was a good night kiss, was actually a passionate kiss to wake the princess from her deep sleep.(fuck you Disney)
What you thought was a reaction from the kiss and night of fun that landed in your bedroom is actually Valentine’s day sex. (Pointless, but if you forget….. I digress)
What you thought was normal sit in the kitchen and drink coffee to wake up before you have to poop, was actually a discussion about moving in together.
So when they leave and you are sitting at home feeling as though that was a nice date. She was cool. Can’t wait to get to know her more so I see if we work out in the long run. Ya know, day to day experiences two people must have. I’ve spoken how time is the only real truth to love. They are freaking out, talking to their friends, replaying it all thinking about how you made them too comfortable and blaming it on “crazy girl mind”, while also completely cutting you out of the conversation. Maybe being hard on themselves because they slept with you? Maybe for “telling you too much”. I dunno. But def not just reminiscing on a good night.
And this is my short and simple explanation of why asshole guys finish first. Because those of us who don’t play games, don’t hide ourselves from person to person, and just enjoy the moments, make others too comfortable. Where is the excitement in that? I dunno maybe if we woulda had a second date we could have jumped out of a plane to find out, ha. Can’t have adventure without experience, can’t have experience without time. Can be comfortable with yourself enough to be comfortable with others without needing to look too far into it.
