These are the cookie crumbs for my depreciating mind.

Month: March 2007

How one person’s voice can impact a lifetime…

Today I read a post by a dear friend of mine, Athalus, the founder and previously a host of WCradio.com.

“I have cancelled my account, I have a new job working in the MMO industry at another respectable company, and I will be attending classes at a major California university very soon.” – Athalus

I have written many times in my bio and on many different formations of this site and in credits of old movies, of a name, “WCradio”, or in more direct and appropriate term, “Athalus”. Athalus was this stranger who through an instant messanger moved to a Skype conversation, turned a project I did for personal enjoyment with a few friends into a kick in the ass toward my career today. One could never express the appreciation one has for a person who kick started another’s career. No links to a website or lines of text in a bio could really explain it. Well I think I will try my best now for those who never looked deeper than a movie or browsed a credit line.

When I made I surrender Athalus a few days later messaged me and said, “Dude, when is number 2 coming out?” And I was like, errrr number 2? And he was like, “Well where is your website at least”. And i was like well I have a stupid website where me and my friends shoot the shit… Athalus in a dramatization of the event, “(sigh)Come with me my child! (BAM POOF SPARKS FLY FROM HIS HANDS)” I was presented with a domain host, a spot on a radio station to promote my current movie and he said, “Figure out what you are calling the website I am buying for you…”

For those of you who have ever had someone grab your hand and help you through something new it is really quite the experience. So much went on behind the scenes I could never express it properly or give credit where credit was due. But I can point out an area which has always been grey even in my mind: with every helping hand there comes a time when you must let go of the milk your mother can provide(shut up Darwin fans) and begin to find every possible way to provide. There was a point, even though Athalus was the one who kicked my ass through a door, when I needed to figure out how to build a second floor, and I think this is where in a public eye it can get muddled.

When I took the step from one movie during beta to 2 or 3 movies every 2 or 3 months I began having to balance soo much more. Athalus and his radio were expanding and he had to deal with that. We always talked about combining one day and perhaps forming a movie radio community but the push was for our separate fields of work to progress on their own, and so we began to do less and less building of our profiles together. I never helped him build his radio station and he never dictated to me a script for a movie. We were merely there to support each other in our efforts and to see the other person prosper.

We got to go to Blizzcon and meet up. We all took time from our schedules to plug each other, he gave me a moment on his radio station and I put him in the movie(with a picture of my grandma of course) and all was happy, between him and I. We never felt an obligation or even thought we stepped on each others toes if someone got more exposure than the other. And this is why I am writing this.

I am writing this because we were there for each other since day one. Although he may have kicked me in the ass first, I want him to know I never lost sight of who he was and what he did for me. I think we will continue to have our sporatic meetings and chats as always but I want everyone to know… Don’t ever let go of those people who help you. You never know, without being able to look back, what you may not have had if certain people were not there to say “Hey I am Athalus”.
Athalus’s post can be found here: http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/thread.html?topicId=86916308&sid=1

What happened to the days when the sun always shined…

The days when a tree was a tree.

Your mom was a hero.

Your dad was your friend.

The truth was as much as you knew.

I think they exist now, it just takes a little more to see them… I think I have found my sunshine again, not in a person or a place, just in myself.

Not an emo post. DAMN STRAIGHT! 🙂

Not CUTE extremely awesome!

There was a girl
her name was myrtle
she had a friend…
an invisible turtle
she said he got her the black lace girdle
but no one knows
except for myrtle
They ran around.
Rolled on the ground…
their friendship bound
Myrtle
and her
turtle.
Thank you thank you.. bows!

Thursday…

That means tomorrow is friday?
I like that. 😛
Lots to do at work, lots to do at home, lots to do always…
Doing the right stuff?

We will see.

I’m in Tristan world apparently
with the bastion of vocal harmonies at night wishing me goodnight

My senses are on alert

The air and the heat and the time of year are starting to bring back sensory memory. Good and bad.

It smelled like ocean tonight on the car ride home and it was warm enough for the windows to be open without even giving me a chill.. mmmm

Sickness

So i got hit with a KILLER sickness. Apparently I am not the only one. While it allowed me to hit level 70 and re meet all the guild members in wow again holy fuck it was a killer. I mean I was out for the count a few days i hardly remember.

The kinda shitty but good part was me and my g/f had trouble talking while I was really under the weather. She has some stuff in her life and thankfully this has opened up many windows to let the sun in for “WHY’s” in our relationship. Basically she really did care for me but at the same time she lacked the ability to express that feeling to me without making me anxious or not comfort me. While that is harsh after we talked more when i got better it was apparent why and I guess this is one of those humps to work through. I guess no one really knows what to say to you when you are sick like your Mom.. I just wish we could get to that point where we BOTH know each other that way. I’m not sure what that takes but I will learn one day.
I did feel terrible about not being able to be there for her when I was sick cause she was also having a shitty time as well. And I dunno why but I am being kinda stubborn about asking to help now that I am better, one we got into a fight, two she is semi better, three I have no good reason… I want to figure out if she is ok with certain people in the hospital. We DID talk about some but I wonder if she remembers as it was before our fight and may have been diluted thus.

Anywhoo…

WoW!

So I am playing pretty steady again. I must say I am really enjoying it. I kinda enjoy just vegging out with the game and talking with friends etc. Even farming is fun currently.
Right now I am just trying to get a hold of my rogue and specs I enjoy.
I considered re-rolling but I decided not to and found happiness in shadowstep spec for the time being.
Also my guild is in need of a big group hug so we are in the process of getting everyone back to being fun lol.

My g/f and I had a rough time for a little bit there. (NOT BECAUSE OF WOW YOU HATERS lol) Things are still weird but I think it is the distance most of all. And we are talking through a lot of it. It is hard as hell to balance long distance. She is really special and just doesn’t realize how I feel sometimes I think. I want to do so many things and have so little time. I think right now it seems like I want to play wow more than i want to spend time with her when in reality I just wish she were here by my side playing with me(she like sgames and would do that but like I said distance). I just miss the COMFORT of a relationship. Currently it is like a special event every time she comes and one it isn’t comforting two it is expensive lol. When you get to a place in a relationship like we have the distance begins to hurt. The days before and after she visits I usually disappear because in the beginning I want time to go faster and I have some sort of inner way of doing that alone, and then when she leaves I want to unwind from the excitement. Meh the 16th she is coming down so until then. I love to just curl up against her back in bed and put my arms around her waist.
She has wow and an account and plans to play but her computer sucks lol bah. Anyway she probably wouldn’t like me till she leveled up since I am kinda hard core with how I play even if in a fun way.

Oh yeah.. welcome to my blog lol

We are walls..

We are walls, we’re watching you with out eyes…

We are walls, we’re watching you give in…

We are walls, we protect you from what’s outside…

We are walls, we’re watching you with out eyes…

If you cry, we can hear…

It’s your tears that won’t appear…

If you yell we will hold,

If you fall we won’t know…

We are walls.

Hold your fists way up high,

scream and shout jump and cry…

Lets us know you gave in,

Let it out we’ll hold it in.

We are walls, we’re watching you with out eyes…

We are walls, we’re watching you give in…

We are walls, we protect you from what’s outside…

We are walls, we’re watching you with out eyes…

You fall to your knees…

You lift your head to me…

Your eyes emotions bleed,

The blood dripping with need.

We are walls, we’re watching you with out eyes…

We are walls, we’re watching you give in…

We are walls, we protect you from what’s outside…

We are walls, we’re watching you with out eyes…

Reads like a song, sections in with poetry.. not sure yet.. prolly not done either.

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